A wriggle to know the real me, to explore the things coming out in my way.. a lot has done yet a lot has to be done.. i hardly have any regret from life.. i just love my life the way it is for if the past haven't had happened i wouldn't have know the value of my present n my future.. My blog is a reflection of what i feel when I'm glad to skyrocketing heights and also when I'm low to seabed depths.. my experiences.. my memories and many more things that you may revael youself..!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

@ conversation b/w @ Soldier n Software Engineer.......!!

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdhi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought; he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do!!

He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop. Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country, Sir. Today everything is getting computerized. "

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stockily built like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naive ness demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it."

For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept into his so far affable, persuasive tone. "

Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in. Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office, does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He could see, he had the man where he wanted, and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country.

Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrently; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was awestruck; quite like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination.

"You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "but now I am the Project Manager."

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over,

"So your life is easy now."

This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, "Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work.

Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality.

To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his requirements, the user at the other, wanting something else, and your boss, always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realization. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth.

"My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the Line of Fire"

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir.... I know what it is to be in the Line of Fire......."

He was staring blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night.

The enemy was firing from the top.

There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom.

In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a...?"

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft assignment.

But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier.

On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker.

It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib refused me permission and went ahead himself.

He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded... ....his own personal safety came last, always and every time."

"He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir....I know, what it is to be in the Line of Fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he switched off the laptop.

It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life; valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake.

This hand... had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.

It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS:- The incident he narrated during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and various other acts of bravery, he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra, the nation's highest military award.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Na aaye ho, na aaoge

Na phone pe, bulaoge

Na shaam ki, karaari chai

Labhon se yun, pilaoge

Na aaye ho, na aaoge

Na din dhale, sathaoge

Na raat ki, nashili bai

Sey neend mein jagaoge

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Yeh raat baaki hain

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Saath baaki hain..

Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye har baat baaki hain

Gaye kyun..

Toh Jiyein kyun..

Na aaye ho, na aaoge

Na dooriyan, dhikhaoge

Na thaam ke, woh josh mein

Yun hosh se, udaoge

Na aaye ho, na aaoge

Na jhoot se, sunaoge

Na rooth ke, sirhane mein

Remote ko, chupaoge

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Yeh raat baaki hain

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Saath baaki hain

Gaye tum gaye hum tum gaye har baat baki hain

Gaye kyun..

Toh Jiyein kyun..

Aankh bhi tham gayi na

Raat bhi na bhati na kati..

Yeh raat bhi cherti marti

Neend bhi lutt gayi
chin gayi

Raat bhi na sahi na rahi..

Yeh raat bhi laazmi zaalmi

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Yeh raat baaki hain

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun

Saath baaki hain

Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye har baat baaki hain

Gaye kyun..

Toh Jiyein kyun..

Gaye kyun..

Jiyein kyun..


Jiyein kyun..

Na aaye ho, na aaoge

Na phone pe, bulaoge

Na shaam ki, karaari chai

Labhon se yun churaoge.....!!

PS thats on repeat on my mp4 player these days....!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

FoR oNe LaSt TiMe.......!!

Finally the much awaited end of my engg is standing in front of me......I took my last sessional today.......this is something that would have lifted the burden from my shoulders like always.....but that’s not what I am actually feeling today......to admit i never thought I would feel this way about the cessation of some stupid, every time nagging internals...trust me when i say they are real pain in ass.....unlike normally I’m finding this nettlesome pesky pain not that painful...I’ll kind of miss it soon.....well may be not for I already have job in my one hand n higher education opportunity in the other but winding and packing these most stupefying four years of my life is not going to be easy......it was a rollercoaster ride......full of ebb and flow.....a journey full of vicissitude......cherished and cursed.....i remember myself saying all the time.."GAWDDDDDD.....WHEN WILL THIS PARADOXICAL DEGREE COME TO AND END....M SO PISSED OFF OF IT....!!"....right now i hate myself for uttering dose words out of my mind.....all those imbecilic, obtuse, nutcases, mindless freaky creatures seem to be darlings today.....i met some gem of a person sorts people in these four years only.....we might be meeting each other often a while after it's over...but it's never gonna be the same.....m jocund enough for apprizing the last few days with my dearies to the fullest extent....going to the bitter end had never been such an experience.....i have with me the most gratifying four years of my life.....m sure enough to move on with all those miraculously mind boggling memories of these times......leaving behind all the crappy poop.....to a bodacious awe-inspiring tomorrow......yet missing everything that happened over this place.....coz I still remember my first moment here.....my every moment here.....my friends.....those cheeky n goofy discussions, half-baked fights....nerdy life taking assignments.....not to mention brain teasing sessionals....bizarre n boring lectures......mass bunks jam-packed with full on masti....cheesy canteen parties......last minute shopping plans.....eating out ventures.....girly gossips.....fest....functions (specially eccentronics...!!)......overrated crushes.......satirizing nerds around....late night gossips.....early morning plans of action.....i try figuring out what not has these four years not given me.....it made me stronger, kinder, more gentle, more friendlier, more human than ever before...taught me hell loads of things....specially how to tackle situations that are actually unbearable and tear apart your heart inside.....most effectively n most importantly it taught me how to deal with screwballs......m glad to have it all with me...that’s something nobody can ever take back from me...it's all mine....MY COLG LIFE......that's coming to an end.....but ensuring to give me all I ever wanted before it gets over.....and that's make me little nostalgic....!!


Thursday, May 5, 2011

F.U.N. fun fanaa............ :PPPPPPPPPPP ...........!!

What could be better than seeing your friends going to the maxium viable terminus ad quem............i was feeling awfully below par.......feeble, feverish, frail,laid-up, nauseated and bedridden yesterday when two of my cheesiest buddies befell at my doorstep.....gazed n gaped....well that was the rejoinder i could finally give after a series of actions n reactions (none of them are good enough to b mentioned here.... ;P...) bt this made me enormously happy.....being sick as a dog perhaps gives you an oppurtunity to have quality time for yourself as you love to see everyone takin great care of you.....but then for how long can one keep sticking to one's bed......so they being here meant lots of gossips,coffee and gaiety....to sumup full too merrimaking........but that wasnt their plan at all....they just picked me up,stuffed me in the car....w/o letting me get dressed up.....and guess what...took me to the mall..........even though that was excruciating to hell to be there and that too when you could look your worst....trust me i din make a pretty picture at that moment.....but what made me beam high was my friends concern about me.....tha way they kind of abducted me from my place.....it was just captivating and fetching......felt like being the luckiest person present on planet to have darling friends like them......what they did seem to be unobjectionable on the nose......we feeded ourselves with double burst pizzas,chocolava,pasta n much much more (nobody at my place knows this.... :PPPPP)......even though m still pale n feeble,and it was hard for me to go colg today again...but i made the most of it by writing this post about you girls.....i wana tell you that you are one of the most amazingly bright (though spoiled) humans i have ever met....thnaks for eveything...for being there....for looking after me and managing to be with me against all odds through thick and thin....for making me smile.....for letting me whine and blubber, snivel, whimper, bawl and cry my eyes out at every dreadfully devastating corse of life ,for scolding me at every round the bend blunder and blooper of mine,for backing me up when i needed it the most,for building up my mettle when i lacked it like crazy.....theres alot to be said but would just end up making us all nostalgic and namby-pamby....so i beter run fast ending this post.....but i literally had one of the most astounding,surprising,mind-blowing, mind-boggling, staggering and miraculous evening of my life......i am actually running short of words.....beer and skittles is all i could come up with.....!!

PS luvya gals.....mmmmmmmwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaa........!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

feeling blue....??

Everyone has bad days, those days when it seems like everything that can go wrong does – usually twice. The good news is that there are tons of ways to make a bad day better, many of which may surprise you. Keep this list in mind the next time you’re down in the dumps; you can use it to turn your frown upside down in no time!

1. Read a Good Book

This always makes me feel better, especially if it’s one of my favorites. I love to read, and when I lose myself in a fantasy world when I otherwise don’t feel good, and then my mood instantly changes. There are books which can show you that your life’s not that bad at all, books that can put things in perspective, and books that can just help you live out a dream. Either way, reading is a great way to get past a funk.

2. Be Nice to Somebody Else

Have you ever noticed how doing something kind for someone else instantly picks up your mood as well? Sincere altruism can always make a bad day better, because it’s always buoying to know that you’ve helped make someone else feel better. The smallest things will suffice here. You can even tell the girl next to you in the shampoo aisle that you like her hair.

3. Clear your Mind

Sometimes clutter is what makes you feel bad. I’m not talking about clothes and shoes and books and things, I mean internal clutter. If your mind is full of warring thoughts, it can really drag you down. Try to meditate, or at least take some time out for yourself so you can clear your mind. That’s a great way to make a bad day better, because you’re focusing on yourself.

4. Get Active

Being active and getting some exercise is also helpful. You don’t have to automatically run out and join the gym or anything, but try to engage in some kind of activity every day. Not only will this make you feel productive, but physically, the endorphins produced by your body will naturally make you feel better.

5. Complete a Hard Task

Often, you can improve your mood simply by successfully completing a difficult task. Whether it’s cooking something new, making a successful souffle, putting together some bookshelves, decorating a room, or finishing a big task at work, finishing it will make you feel great about yourself. There’s no such thing as a task that’s too small in this regard.

6. Act It Out

There are also times when you just have to smile through your mood. There are some studies which suggest that you can actually act out the way you’d prefer to feel. If you want to feel sad, you can move around and act depressed. If you want to feel happy, you can encourage yourself to do that by smiling, laughing, and generally acting happy – then, soon, you really will be.

7. Get Help

The fact is, sometimes you need help to make a bad day better. You may need it from your spouse, your partner, your children, or your friends. The thing is, you have to tell the people you care about that you need their help. You can’t always trust that they will automatically know it. Being honest can be helpful all on its own.

8. Take a Nap

The truth is, sometimes it is possible to sleep away your doldrums. If you’re feeling down and blue, just taking some rest might be all you need. You don’t have to lay out forever, just give yourself thirty minutes, maybe an hour. Rejuvenating yourself can make you feel great quite quickly.

9. Find a Connection

Lastly, spending time with someone you really love can also make you feel better. You can connect with one of your close friends, for example, and the two of you can share things together. Many times, just making a connection with another person is all you need to uplift your mood.
PS There are a number of different ways to make a bad day better……it all depends on what, precisely, makes you feel better when you’re down. No matter what cheers you up or how you make it through…..but what one should always remember is "EVEN IF THE PATH IS A LITTLE BLURY ALL U HAVE TO DO IS KEEP WALIKNG.....!!"

So, how do you meliorate your bad day………..??